It might not have happened if Dave did not have the compulsion to get to a bus stop a quarter of an hour before the bus is due. And it might not have happened if there had been a decent seat in the bus shelter so I could sit down.
It might not have happened if I was not forgetful.
Let me explain.
We decided we would go on one last trip this summer on the open top double decker sightseeing bus, which drives through the beautiful Peak District and has stunning views. I’ve written about it on here before.
We drove to the next village and parked the car on the green and waited at the bus stop. I didn’t want to stand for quarter of an hour on my gammy knee so I tried to sit down on those two ridiculous bars in the bus stop.
But it was so uncomfortable that Dave kindly offered to lend me his coat to make a cushion. This really helped. A quarter of an hour later, the bus arrived and I jumped up excitedly and we got on, paid, and climbed upstairs. The bus started. After about a mile, Dave started to get chilly and asked me if I had his coat. No! I’d left it at the bus stop.
It was a good quality secondhand coat, but you wouldn’t describe it as posh. The bus trip was two hours long. Would it still be there when we returned? Could we happily sit and enjoy a trip for two hours while Dave was worrying? I personally didn’t think anyone would steal the coat. No one would stop a car to get it, and buses and pedestrians are rare.
I knew that Dave wouldn’t want to buy himself a new one to replace it because he hates spending money on himself. He will do anything to avoid it. We once forgot to take his coat on a holiday and he wore a black bin liner when it rained. If this coat was lost he would insist on going without. The prospect of his being cold for two hours on the bus was miserable enough, but the thought if his insisting going through the winter without the coat he wears all the time was horrendous. And it was my fault.
I said “We’re going to have to get off and hitchhike back.” (The normal buses here are every two hours, and the sightseeing ones every hour, so expecting to catch a bus back to where we’d left the coat was a no hoper.)
Dave said nothing: he just sat there exuding anxiety and misery.
“I could ring Angela,” I said. I knew Angela (our neighbour) would be willing to drive and rescue the coat and the situation, but Dave said no, we needed to clear up our own mess. We were 2 miles down the road now and I renewed my arguments about getting off and hitchhiking.
“Come on,” I said “ring the bell and get off.” The man behind us had heard our discussion and intervened.
He said “We’ve got the bell here on our seat - shall I ring it?”
Dave was feeling in his pockets. He turned to me. “The car keys are in my coat pocket” he said with a look of horror. “Someone will feel in the pockets and find the keys and hold them up and blip them and see which car they belong to.”
We were 3 miles away from the bus stop now.
“Come on! Get off!” I said.
He finally gave in.
The bus driver looked surprised when we went downstairs and got off the bus. Most people stay on for the whole trip. They don’t alight after ten minutes.
We found a spot on the verge and I stuck out my thumb. Several cars passed.
The last time we hitchhiked together was 55 years ago. Would someone stop and give us a lift?
More cars drove past. Surely someone would stop for a couple of fogeys who were respectably dressed…
“I’m going to ring Angela,” I said. Dave didn’t argue.
Trying to explain our situation over the phone in a hurry was not easy. At last Angela understood, and said of course she would help. She would find the coat and then come and find us. Just as I rang off, a passing car slowed down.
Hooray! Dave ran down and explained. The lovely driver didn’t understand, but said we could have a lift. But then I realised that Angela might be driving up to find us and we wouldn’t be there, so Dave took the lift and I stayed where I was and worried. What was the worst that could happen? The coat and the car would be gone. No… the worst thing would be Dave seeing the coat and rushing across the road to get it and being knocked down. I drank a mug of coffee from my flask but I didn’t enjoy it.
Twenty minutes later Dave turned up in the car - with the coat and the keys, natch. I jumped in and we talked about whether we should catch the next sightseeing bus. I was so jangled I would have been happy to just go home and have a stiff drink.
But now Dave had the coat and the car his anxiety had evaporated and he wanted to rescue the day. Also he wanted to get his moneysworth out of his all-day hop-off hop-on ticket. So we drove back and parked near the bus stop again and waited for the bus, which arrived five minutes later.
We had a nice trip, but I couldn’t relax until we had passed the place where we got off the last time.
I hope increasing senility and forgetfulness doesn’t lead to more such adventures. Though I have to say it was quite fun sticking my thumb out to see who would stop.