Saturday, October 23, 2010

It’s hard to know…

…what this blog is about, and why I write it.

I began it because I thought a writer needed a web presence, and I didn’t want to spend a lot of money on a website. My idea was that if someone read one of my books and wanted to know if I had written anything else, they could find me on the net and get the information they were after.

Junly2010 006

So it began as a space with information, with the very occasional update. Somewhen between June 2006 and now, it metamorphosed into a blog. But what kind of a blog? I have no idea. Why, dear regular reader, do you come here? What is it that you like to read?

Junly2010 001

I have been lying in bed thinking about how much of my life I cannot share with you. I can’t write anything that might hurt or embarrass someone I care about - and there are a lot of people I care about – and yet the people that I care about make up my life, or rather, they make up a substantial part of my life. Sometimes the whole of my being is taken up with the concerns of my family, and I cannot share them with you, because they are not just my concerns.

Junly2010 002

I can talk about my own feelings, such as when my mother died. I could share with you my subsequent grief, and the existential malaise that followed. I can share trivial domestic news and jokes. I can share my holidays. I can share my general musings. But when I am consumed with family concerns, and I can’t share the real stuff of life with you, the blog takes on a patchy and unsatisfactory texture, and it no longer feels like - or indeed, is - the continuing story of my life.

Junly2010 003

Sometimes my writing is at the forefront of my thoughts, and I can share that with you, though that has not been possible, lately. I’ve been waiting to hear from the agent who has the manuscript of my latest book (But I told you last year that I loved you) and it is very trying to wait for news that may take months to come. So I have attempted to put it on the back shelf of my brain.

Junly2010 004

Sometimes I want to blog about politics, but I resist this for 99% of the time. (Yesterday, I didn’t resist. And here is an occasion when I didn’t.) Why do I mostly resist? Because I used to read the blog of a woman I didn’t know, a woman who lives on the North West coast of the USA. She wrote a reflective and charming blog about her life and her family, and I loved it. Then she started writing about politics as well, and I abhor her politics, so I stopped reading her blog. It was a shame. I allow myself to blog about just one area of politics, because of all issues it is probably the one I care about most – the injustice and brutality that Israel visits on the Palestinian people.

Junly2010 005

I changed the header of the blog yesterday because when I go to one of my bookmarked blogs and found they have refreshed the title header, I am always delighted. Or did I change it because I am fed up with my blog? That could be it. I like the photo of me that used to be the header, which is why I have had it up there for so long. But I wanted a change. I am not sure about the sheep.


Jacob Naylor said...

Ms. Hepworth,

While I can't possibly presume to know why you write your blog, I can tell you why I read it. Like many readers of blogs, fiction, news articles, recipes, etc., I love words. I have a huge appetite for words, especially those that are written cleverly and with great insight. I'm sure you have days when you feel your blog is neither of these things, but the beauty of words is that people like me can find something interesting in them, regardless of how the author sees those words in retrospect. So, if it helps, I know there must be other readers out there, like me, that enjoy your words, whether for deeper meaning or simply for a love of words. The question is this: do you love writing them? If you don't (at least in your blog), then, despite how much I would miss it, perhaps a break from your blog would be at hand. I will say this: thank you for all your words thus far.

Sue Hepworth said...

Dear Jacob Naylor,
It is good to have such a reader as you. Thank you for responding. I think what has been bothering me is that I like to be honest and straightforward on my blog, as in everywhere else in my life, and when I can't be honest for fear of exposing other people, I feel frustrated. I don't mind having the occasional snippets of trivia on here as long as they are amusing. But I wouldn't want the blog to be that and nothing else. I don't like superficiality. I shall have to think some more. In the meantime, thank you, again. And in answer to your question, I do like writing my blog when it comes from my heart, or from my sense of humour.