Monday, April 08, 2019


I woke up on Saturday morning after a good long sleep, after the nine and a half hours in hospital waiting rooms the day before, and I felt euphoric.

It was a bright spring day and the sun was shining. i was alive and well and free. I could be outside in the fresh air all day long if I wanted! I really was euphoric. It was peculiar.

The day filled up with a photoshot on the Trail for the cover of the book, a coffee and chocolate brownie with Liz (the photographer) a bike ride up the hill

the crossword with Dave, and then some gentle gardening. I was happy all day. Joyful. I was well. I was outside in the sunshine, doing things I enjoy. This was how I should feel every day. Thankful for my health and freedom.

The next day I woke up and discussed the cover photos with my brother and felt cast down. He didn't think they were right.  Gloom and despondency. Quaker meeting didn't help: I couldn't settle. 

Why is it that I can't sustain the joy and thankfulness from one day to the next? Is this the human condition? Or is it a failing in me?


Sally said...

I think it's the human condition. The bad days make the good days feel even better & help you appreciate them. My Dad use to say - all part of the rich tapestry of life. I try to remember that, though sometimes easier said than done. Hope it's been an out & about fun kind of day for you. Mine's been kinda middling! 🙂 Sally

marmee said...

Hello! And yes I also think its the human condition and indeed suffer from it more than I like. My take on it is that it that it occurs because i mistake my feelings for reality. When I am happy and hippety skippety and taking joy in the amazing view from my windows and in the people in my life that is real but then when i am low and and dreary and overcome by my shortcomings or sadness the view is still there, the lovely people in my life are still there. But I am sure there are a myriad of opinions on this. What does your Dave make of it? My own husband has a more even temperament than I do, more inclined to get on with whatever is at hamd rather than take note of how he is feeling at that moment.

Sue Hepworth said...

Thanks for your comments, Sally and Marmee.
Like Marmee, I think some people are more ruled by their feelings. I seem to have become more emotional as I’ve got older. Perhaps I didn’t have time for it when the family were still at home...?