A member of my family who declines to be named: I am going outside for a fag and when I come in again I’d like you to tell me something interesting.
Me, (hastily assembling a cheese flan and leek and potato soup for the expected guests): I am like Maris in Frasier.
A member of my family who declines to be named: What?
Me: You know that bit…
Frasier: By the way, where's Maris? I haven't seen her all night.
Niles: She's on your bed.
Frasier: My bed?
Niles: Yes, she's asleep under the guests' coats. She exhausts easily under the pressure to be interesting.
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