Friday, November 29, 2013

Bad piggies, curious cubes and other miscellania

1/ What is the difference between a mother and a grandmother?
If a child wants to come into bed at 6.15 a.m. and play Bad Piggies on the iPad, the mother might say “I suppose so, just for five minutes, but turn off the terrible sound effects!”

A grandmother will say “Of course! Is it more fun with the sound effects on? That’s fine, but not too loud or you’ll wake up Mum and Dad.”

2/ I had my post op assessment this morning, and the doctor took out the ONE stitch from my eye and it didn’t hurt. And I can now see in that eye better than I have done for 60 years. Pretty miraculous, n’est-ce pas?
3/ I went to see Philomena with my new eye and it was brilliant. Ten out of ten. Compelling and gripping. moving and superb. What’s more, I never realised how handsome Steve Coogan is when he isn’t Alan Partridge. I floated the idea on Twitter that he might be our man to play Kit, but I was definitively shouted down, not least by Jane. (No change there, then.)
4/ Lastly, I went in Waterstones on Tuesday to buy a pile of children’s books and when I got to the till and handed them over I remembered something else. I said to the assistant - “Oh, do you have that new Joanna Trollope that is a take off of a Jane Austen novel?”
and she said
“What is the title? I will look it up on the computer.”
“I’m not sure, I will ask a colleague.”
“I will go and look on the shelves for you.”
She just said “I don’t know.”
And she stood there looking at me, feebly.
So I said - “OK. I will go and look on the shelves,” and I stalked off, because if I hadn’t have done so, I would have been much too rude.

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