The title of the post refers to me, not to our rancid government.
How are you?
I'm not sleeping well.
And I'm drowning in apathy.
January 1st was the first New Year morning in 20 years that Dave and I did not go out early to feed the ducks or walk on the Trail. Neither of us could be bothered.
This is the first New Year I did not sit down and consider some resolutions, aims, or plans for the coming year. All I could come up with was a word - love - and a poem - A Portable Paradise by Roger Robinson.
And all I can muster the energy for, day to day, is forcing myself out to take some exercise, and painting.
Every spring I have pots of tete-a-tetes on the doorstep. Every summer it's geraniums. And in the winter I bring the pots of cyclamen from under the tree and put those on the step. This year one was flowering and one was not and it's been like that for two months. Terrible feng shui. Usually I would have gone out to the garden centre and replaced the non-flowering one, but I can't be bothered.
Life is sometimes hard. Things go wrong, in life and in love and in business and in friendship and in health and in all the other ways that life can go wrong. And when things get tough, this is what you should do.
Make good art.
I'm serious. Husband runs off with a politician? Make good art. Leg crushed and then eaten by mutated boa constrictor? Make good art. IRS on your trail? Make good art. Cat exploded? Make good art. Somebody on the Internet thinks what you do is stupid or evil or it's all been done before? Make good art. Probably things will work out somehow, and eventually time will take the sting away, but that doesn't matter. Do what only you do best. Make good art.
Make it on the good days too.
So I am trying my best with my painting. I made good progress yesterday and I'm no longer discouraged.
And since I started writing this post the sky has cleared and the sun has come out on a frosty morning.
This is the view over our garden wall right now.
1 comment:
For me this week it has to say: MUST do better! I had a few small things go awry on monday and for some reason I just could not manage to move past it! Got stuck in the wrongs visited on me and the mistakes I made in turn! None of them worth the energy or time I wasted while really very good things were happening too!
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