Tuesday, June 22, 2021


The sun is shining today, thank goodness.

Sunshine makes such a difference to me and my mood. I know it shouldn't but it does. I've been feeling a bit low lately. There are family troubles, but it's not all about that. This never-never land of Covid seems to go on forever. Yes, we are free to go out and about and to go away (within reason - the USA won't let me in) but group gatherings indoors are not wise even if they were allowed, so it means we can't have a normal Quaker Meeting, and nothing social feels free and easy. I feel as if I am living in some kind of filmy cage, the barriers of which I am never sure about. A friend recently said 'It still feels like we are waiting, in hibernation/half life.' I feel that too.

Yesterday a man on the Trail asked me if the stepping stones were 'down there.' And could you walk on them? 

I said 'Yes, I've just been, do you want to see a photo?' 

I found one on my phone and he stood right next to me to see it, 

and afterwards as I cycled off I thought 'Should we have been standing side by side, so close? Neither of us had masks on because he was hiking and I was walking and cycling. He was my age so had probably been fully vaccinated, but on the other hand he could still be carrying the Delta variant, and anyway, he had an Australian accent so was he a visitor who had NOT been vaccinated? Next time I will ask the person to step away and I will hold my phone at arms length for them to see. All of this crap ran through my head. When will I stop thinking this kind of stuff? Next year? Ever?

At least I am free in my dreams. I dreamed about Mary and it was lovely. She was happy and smiling and we had three hugs just because we could. (It was rather weird, though - she had had her hair 'set', she was wearing a bra and a twin set, she had just pulled out the cooker to clean behind it, she had a double barrelled name, and she was cracking jokes in the Labour party meeting she was hosting at her house. You didn't know her so I need to explain that only ONE of these characteristics is anywhere near the truth. And even then it would have been the Green party.) She died six years ago and I still miss her a lot.

At least I got to Facetime my girls yesterday - both of them. Cece (Cecilia) has taught me how to use filters, and I took a photo of her in comic book mode which I really like:

This is her in monchrome:

 and this is the birthday card I painted for her:

Do you know what the notes say?

The other good news is that my sweet peas are looking healthier than they have in years. This is just one wigwam of three:

Right... now I am going to get showered and dressed and head to the garden centre because my cosmos seedlings are ready to be planted out and I need some sharp grit to protect them from slugs.

And the sun is still shining. I hope it is for you too, and that you have a lovely day.


Lois said...

I quite agree with you and your friend about the hibernation/half life feel of the present time. I feel a lot less cheerful at the moment than I did during most of lockdown. Partly because of the sad life events affecting friends and partly just not knowing how safe things are here in Greater Manchester. I suppose my resilience is wearing a bit thin. Time to count today's blessings - a visit at lunch time from my daughter and a group strawberry tea.

Keep smiling! Lois x

Sue Hepworth said...

Lovely to hear from you Lois, and I hope you enjoyed your day.
Mine was good - gardening, painting, sitting in the sun reading Mary Oliver poems, playing table tennis.

Anonymous said...

Another post brimming with light and warmth! The images of your granddaughter are wonderful. I just love her hairstyle! Feeling your discomfort with this strange time. Here in Sydney we are virtually locked down again as there has been an outbreak near us. This means that a planned visit from our interstate son has been cancelled and our granddaughters simple plans for the school holidays also interrupted We are declared a COVID hotspot and not allowed to travel, gather with more than 5 in our home and so it goes All very unsettling At last I have a vaccination though though. An AZ the first shot. Didn’t have your debilitating reaction but am sore and quite exhausted as a reaction Can’t tell you how good it is to enjoy your posts again

Sue Hepworth said...

Hello Ana
I am sorry to hear of your local outbreak and restrictions and the big disappointment of a cancelled visit from your son. I’m pleased the vaccinations are progressing, though. It does give me confidence to know I’ve been vaccinated, despite the unease about the Delta variant.