Every time I come back to the blog after having a week off, I lose my nerve. What do I really have to say? Why do people want to come here to read it? Then someone helpful gives me a kick up the bum and says - “Get writing!” This time it was my big brother.
So I’m here. Some days I will have something interesting to say, or I will say nothing in an interesting way, and sometimes I won’t. I realised some time ago, though, that this blog is more about connection than substance. I say this because some of my blog readers write to me when they’re concerned about me. It’s pretty wonderful. So these days, if people ask me if you can be friends with someone you have never met in person I would say Yes!
Yesterday it rained all day. Yesterday the patchy internet drove me crazy again, and Dave dropped me off at Hassop Station so I could use their Wi-Fi to work. I bought a hot chocolate and sat in a corner with my computer and notebook, and it reminded me how it felt to go out to work. I used to like going out to work on winter days.
If I can force myself out of the house when it’s raining, things always feel better.
I walked home along the muddy Trail and up the lane, where the drains were blocked with leaves, and I cleared them with a chunky stick. It was huge fun. (You know how I love clearing drains. You know how when I am famous and dead I am going to have a blue plaque on the biggest drain down the lane, saying Sue Hepworth, writer, cleared this drain every winter 1996 – ) When I finally got home, drenched and exhilarated, I said to Dave - “I’m going to get my wellies on and take a spade and finish the job!”
But then I remembered the vacuuming, which also needed doing, and which is no fun at all.