Thursday, February 06, 2025

Letter from home

I turned 75 last year but I haven’t got to grips with it yet. What I mean is this: I am fairly fit, but I walked 10,000 steps yesterday on a fabulous sunshine walk 



(Don’t you just love hilltop hawthorn trees - their flat wind-blown shapes and their spiky sturdiness?)

and when I got home I was too tired to do the vacuuming, even though there were visible and accusing wood chips on the stair carpet. Is that normal? 

I mean…how much exercise and how much energy is a fit and healthy 75 year old supposed to have? 

I sat on the sofa by the fire (it was cold here), did some admin and some painting, had lunch, more painting, talked to Lux over her Boulder breakfast on FaceTime, and then because Dave was out all day, decided to watch a film that I know Dave would hate. It was 4 o clock by this time, but I still felt faintly guilty about watching telly in the daytime. (Thank my wonderful mother for this.)

I watched Moonstruck which I think is a ridiculous film but I love it anyway. I especially love this bit of dialogue:


As I texted to Het, Nicholas Cage is not my type but after this injunction I’d get in his bed!

And here I am now, still sitting in my bed at five to eight in the morning 



with no desire to get up. Is that OK? I mean…I am 75. But then I am gainfully occupied, talking to you. (Notice my justifying myself again?) 

Second question…how much money would you spend on a 176 page novel by your favourite author? Here’s why I want to know…

I had decided to buy a new small cafetière and when I got to the checkout on Amazon they wouldn’t give me free postage so I thought - as I am bored stiff with the winter - ooh, maybe Anne Tyler has a new novel out, and she did. It’s out next week in hardback but it is very short and costs £12.99. If I bought it I’d get free postage for that and the cafetière. £12.99 is a lot to pay for a short novel but on the other hand if I bought a toastie and a coffee at Hassop Station it would cost about the same and I wouldn’t think twice about it. And I am soooooo bored with the winter, so why not treat myself?

This is a lot of wittering, but it raises the question of how much you would pay for things in various categories…

Enough wittering.

The other thing that has been occupying my downtime is watching lots of films about David Hockney on YouTube. Hockney is a hero of mine. One thing he said, which I will remember, is a Chinese saying…”you need three things for painting, eye, hand and heart. Two won’t do.” 

I so agree. This is why I won’t do commissions. My heart would not be in a commission and I would not have sufficient motivation to complete it. My heart was certainly in the painting of our mug rack, which is now finished. As you can see, I chose pink for that top left mug. (See last post but one.)

Oh, and with reference to the mystery of the flashes of sunlight at the top, and the tumblers I missed off because they were too hard to paint, who knows what the sun is bouncing off before it reaches the wall? I had thought it was coming straight through the front room window and then through the stained glass window between that room and the kitchen, but now I am wondering if it was bouncing off the glass table in the front room before it came through the window. It’s a mystery, and it won’t be solved until December 30 this year, when the sun will be in the exact same position. I shall have to remember to check.




Wednesday, February 05, 2025

 



And will our Prime Minister protest? Don’t hold your breath.

I take it back. 

Sunday, February 02, 2025

The art of the possible

I have found January weather so gloomy and so depressing that I decided to paint something that would cheer me up.

At the end of December I saw the just-past-solstice streak of bright sunshine in the kitchen which came through the stained glass window above the kettle. It lit up the top shelf of mugs, the tumblers and the wall, and I took a photo of it.




I thought it would make a terrific painting, and then thought…what would a painting add to it? Why paint it when I have a photograph?

But I wanted to paint something bright and colourful and cheerful, so I launched in.





 I love our colourful kitchen that I painted last January…



This time I have enjoyed the bright colours of the painting and the challenge of painting different shaped mugs with different handles pointing in different directions, and also trying to get the sunshine reflections glinting in just the right places.

I had almost reached the end, but had been leaving the tumblers on the top shelf to the very end, because I knew they were going to be so difficult.

I dithered. Should I miss them out? I didn’t want to ruin the painting and have to paint that whole top section again. 

I texted Het and asked what she thought? Would it still be good if I missed the tumblers off?




“You said it was your job,” she said.
“Pig!” I said.

Then I texted Tate, my eldest grandchild, who is artistic and has a good eye for design. He told me to practice painting them on another board. Good plan. I did, and it did not go well. It convinced me to miss them off. 

I had also left this mug to the end because I knew it was going to be hard to get the lettering right, as it disappears round the curve. I bottled out of that one too.




This meant I had to paint it a different colour because that white mug, top left, looked awful with no writing and deep shade on each side. But what colour should I paint it?




Blue didn’t work



Orange didn’t please me


So what should it be?

I have decided on pink, which ties in with that tin mug with pink and red flowers on the bottom shelf.

When it’s done, I will show you.

That is what has been occupying my week. That, and helping out with MsX because neither of her parents was in the pink. 

I loved it!

She is such fun to play with and her language is so advanced for a two year old, and I have just realised what makes toddlers so enchanting - they are straightforward about what pleases them, and they are not in the least bit self conscious. I like straightforward people who say what they mean and don’t shilly shally, who are enthusiastic and go all in. I suppose this makes sense when I love colour so much.


Tuesday, January 28, 2025

Ramblings

I have just seen the newspaper headlines about the important ceremonies remembering the victims of the Holocaust, and wondered if the Israeli far right see any comparisons with the genocide in Gaza.

Do you read the news headlines and despair at the state of the world?

If yes, what happens next? Do you snuggle back into your life while trying to blank out the bleakness and the threat? Or do you think “I should be doing something to help, something to make things better.”

Then what? Are you then distracted by immediate everyday demands and forget your weltschmertz?

Do you have a purpose in life? Or do you just get on with the day to day and don’t worry about stuff like that?


On Sunday Wendy (my daughter in law) said - amongst other complimentary things about my painting - something about my painting being a way to cope with January, and bad weather, and what a good idea it was. (This was the gist of it, and apologies to Wendy if it’s not accurate.) And I heard myself say to her “My painting is my job.”

I used to say the same about my writing. 

I find it interesting that at the age of 75 ( 75! Me!) I frame my life like this.

Dave says I have serial obsessions. It used to be writing. Now it’s painting. He says “I wonder what will be next.”

Today’s question in my five year diary is  If you could have a conversation with someone (dead or alive) who would it be and why?

I chose Mary, my Anam Cara. She died ten years ago next month. I have some lovely and dear friends, but I still miss talking to Mary.







Friday, January 24, 2025

Untitled

I have a five year diary and on each day there is a question to be answered. 

This is yesterday’s page…




The persecution of the Palestinians continues, despite the fragile ceasefire in Gaza.

Settlers have renewed their violent attacks on Palestinians in the West Bank, and the IDF are also conducting a major assault on the Jenin refugee camp.

 Look at these headlines from the Guardian:






We can’t stop the violence but we can give money to humanitarian charities working in Gaza and the West Bank.

Medical Aid for Palestinians    here

The UNICEF appeal for Gaza   here

The Disasters Energency Committee Middle East appeal   here


 

Monday, January 20, 2025

Relief

am relieved that the ceasefire has begun, but there is so sense of elation. It’s like watching a bully beating someone to a pulp and eventually the bully stops and you know that the victim will take years to recover. But they might not get the chance to recover because the bully might start again.

And anyway, the victim’s family has been killed and their home destroyed and there is no notion of what the future holds.


You can donate by following this link

And now we have Trump.

But I’m going to leave all of the above because you can read the bad news as well as I can, and I’ll tell you what’s been going on here…

Chrissie and I and a friend went to see the new film about Bob Dylan - A Complete Unknown - and it was wonderful! It was so good to hear all those early songs again, and there were so many, and Timothy Chalamet - who played a delightful Laurie in the latest version of Little Women - was brilliant as Dylan. I give the film 5 stars, and if you don’t believe me, check out Rotten Tomatoes, and then go and see the film!

After the film I went back to Chrissie’s house and we had a great evening with too many margaritas (i.e. two) and a Mexican take away, and I stayed the night. What a treat. It’s so good to get away from the countryside in winter for an occasional blast of city lights. I am so starved of the latter, that just walking into the cafe at the cinema and seeing the lights behind the bar and ordering a coffee felt like a treat.

And the next day, because I was in Sheffield, I had coffee with my daughter and then went to see the family member who declines to be named, the lovely Jaine, and 2 year old MsX, who now talks in sentences, such as “Stop it, Daddy, you’re just being silly now.” This time next year she’ll be writing her first novel. 

It’s cold and grey here and after a week that contained several sunny days, it’s back to forcing myself outside for exercise.

Meanwhile I have finished another painting, 95% of which I painted without using a brush, which was easier than it sounds, much more fun, and I think very effective. For the record, I used a palette knife, a sponge, my fingers, cotton buds and cocktail sticks.




I know one shouldn’t rejoice at the passing of time, when one should savour every moment of life, but yippee! We’re three quarters of the way through January, which has replaced February as my most dreaded month.

Wishing you all a good week.

And if you are finding January as difficult as I am, read this, which is the best thing I’ve read in the Guardian in months.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2025/jan/20/january-nine-wellness-free-survival-tips



Friday, January 17, 2025

Still here

 Yes I’m still here, waiting for the ceasefire.








Saturday, January 11, 2025

Grumpiness

I’ve been very grumpy this week on account of the snow and ice, and being cooped up with just one other unfortunate person, who is unfortunate because they are cooped up with me.

Yes it’s beautiful…


My favourite tree 

The field opposite our house

The main street of our village

…but it is also treacherous. It’s OK walking across the fields, but you need to walk on the lanes to get to the fields, and the lanes are too icy to tackle without a walking stick, eyes looking down all the time and not at the view, patience, and twice as much time as usual. Actually they are really too icy to go on at all, except for short stretches. To cap it all, the Trail is closed on weekdays for the whole of January because the rangers are cutting down ash trees with die-back. 

So…it might be bright, as well as minus 9 degrees Centigrade, but going out for exercise as I usually do on a daily basis has been severely restricted. I think that’s why I’ve been so grouchy. 

So this morning, sitting in bed, I am starting afresh and playing the glad game. Here are some reasons to be cheerful:

I have a warm cosy bed.

We have so many logs (collected by Dave) that we never have to worry about lighting a stove. 

I have a stove in my studio.

I have a studio! Which is all my own and has a sofa in it. When I was writing, it was my study. Now it has a huge bit of old carpet down under my table and easel to catch all the flicks and drops of paint. I am a very messy painter.



I have a lovely family and sometimes they populate my dreams, like last night when the adorable 2 year old MsX came to visit.

Dave just brought me a mug of tea AND it is in one of my favourite mugs.




My current painting is going well.

I’m going to see A Complete Unknown on Friday and staying over in Sheffield with Chrissie (who has moved there) and we’re going to have margaritas, because it’s the only safe way to have margaritas, because neither of us has to drive home afterwards. (Phew, long sentence.)

There is a new series of Call the Midwife.

I’m going to see Ballet Shoes with my daughter at the National Theatre in London in February. A vital prop to getting through the dark winter months out in the sticks when so much of normal life is restricted, is to have things to look forward to, and hooray, I do. I am thankful.

I was going to share this poem with you…


From Good Poems For Hard Times, selected by Garrison Keillor


But while I was looking for it, I also found this which I love:




And now I’m going to make pancakes for breakfast - my early morning version of baking a cake.

This is what it looks like outside - and these are full colour photos - taken through an upstairs window.














 



Thursday, January 09, 2025

Bridges not walls

Is this what it felt like in 1939?

Did the world feel this scary? This dark?

Was society as fractured as it feels right now?

At least the world was not on fire.

I couldn’t get to sleep last night for worrying about Trump and Musk and all their acolytes, and AI, and the rise of the far right and everything else. Was there ever this much nastiness at large in the world?

I remember when Trump was inaugurated eight years ago and the Bridges not Walls demonstrations that were held - including our vigil in Bakewell. I’ve just found the photos. 

That was a good day. There are millions of people who want a world of equality, justice, and kindness, and I’d do well to remember that.

















Our Bakewell banner 


And our vigil