Any questions?

I just saw a section on another writer's website called Frequently Asked Questions, in which she listed questions that readers often ask her, along with her answers. Readers of this blog are rather reticent, I know, but if you'd like to ask me a question, why don't you post it in the comments section, and I'll do my best to answer.

How Jane and I wrote Plotting for Beginners

This is for new readers of this blog (as the post has already appeared in the December archives)...

Sue’s View

When I suggested to Jane that we should write a book together, we weren’t even friends. We attended the same writing group and never saw each other outside the meetings, but we emailed often, sending each other work to critique.

In our first emails we discussed creative writing and how to get published, but soon our correspondence became a daily one with humorous descriptions of domestic and family trivia. Many of Jane’s emails made me laugh out loud, and I thought they were wasted just sitting in my Inbox. I wanted to have them in a book I'd started to plan. That’s how the partnership began.

I did 80% of the actual writing in terms of arranging words on the page. Sally Howe is the first person narrator and I wrote in Sally’s voice: it was vital to keep her voice clear and distinctive. Jane wrote Gus's letters, and Kate Wensley's emails in different voices.

But obviously, the work and creativity involved in writing a novel is so much more than what the reader sees. Some people assume that because I wrote Sally’s voice, the book is really mine with Jane helping out. NOT TRUE. It was a fifty fifty creative project. We plotted the book together and developed the characters together and agreed on themes, texture and style. I see us as a comedy writing duo, with two people throwing out jokes and material and ideas but only one able to sit at the keyboard at any one time.

Writing a novel with someone else is a bit like a marriage. It needs commitment from both sides – and if one flags, the other needs to support her and carry on. Also like being in a relationship, you can have double the fun. But the price is a willingness to compromise.

Galton and Simpson once argued for three days about one line in a Hancock episode. Jane and I both love the other’s writing, and we rarely argued about how to express something. But there was one expression I wanted to use - “the great Wen” (meaning London) – which Jane, as editor-in-chief, kept cutting. Next time I sent her a draft I would put it back in, and she would cut it again. This went on for months. She won in the end. She is a fine editor, ruthless and strict with impeccable taste. (But if she dies before me and we have a second edition, I shall re-instate the great Wen.)

We did sometimes argue about the actual material. I might want to include something and she would say it was “yawnsville” (her ultimate put-down.)

I loved developing our characters with Jane. We find the same things funny. When she suggested a trait for a character I often laughed in delight and recognition. We brainstormed by email. When we were in the middle of the book I couldn’t wait to see her latest suggestions and I would rush to read her email before getting dressed in the morning.

I love living in a fictional world. Living there with someone else who shares your sense of humour is even better.

Writing a novel is very hard work – even when you love to write - and it can be lonely. When I wrote Plotting for Beginners with Jane it didn’t seem like work, and I only found it lonely when the huge demands of her normal life enveloped her. But co-writing spoils you. Jane injected such a lot of fun and sparky creativity into our book that when I first embarked alone on my next novel, Zuzu's Petals, I felt as if I was rowing the Atlantic solo.

An email from Jane’s kitchen

hi sue

re twosome piece

don’t forget to mention that

you have placed loads of pieces in the nationals whereas I have poems in a box file (which I am usually too busy to send off)

you have one husband to look after and hours to write whereas I have three teenagers, a hairy dog, four cats, a horse and a rabbit (not yet fed today incidentally) plus a couple of businesses, so when writing have to make do with hit and run snatches

you are entirely driven and I am a complete lazy arse

I work in the chaos of the kitchen on the family computer (“bloody hell, mother – sue hepworth’s sent you seven emails today”) whereas you enjoy the luxury of a study area, albeit one which doubles as a corridor and is in danger of being re-designated as an en-suite

you nearly dumped me after you sent me the first page and I emailed you back to say it was rubbish and I learned to precede any criticism with at least five points of effusive praise (you didn't know that did you?)

we both think the other's writing is fab

I can never remember who the characters are (my excuse - they change their names so often) so when you say is it all right for keith to like jelly? - I invariably email to ask - who the hell is keith?

you obsess about plot points and midpoints and I like to visualise the plot as a structural framework we hang things from

I love to pare things down – record so far cutting 15,000 words in one morning

you are the definitive keeper of the main text - which means that you can slip things back in which I cut out

we are symbiotic

we couldn't write this sort of book if the process wasn't fun - I want to capture the enjoyment we have and roll it onto the page for the reader (omigod - what does that sound like?)

you are well more pushy than I am and incredibly tenacious in a way which always astonishes me and which I totally admire you for

you would like to be a best-selling author and have a national newspaper column (which I know you would hate after two weeks) whereas I aspire to work on a shopping page

best first thoughts

love jane

The irrepressible Sally Howe

She's back from her op and she begged to be allowed to do a few postings on her blog, so what could I say? Click here for the first.

Hello America!

Plotting for Beginners was published in the US at the beginning of July. The US edition contains a glossary at the back for American readers. This is to explain the English phrases in the book which some of my American friends didn't understand. As I know that some of you live in the States and yet bought an English edition, I thought I'd post the American glossary here. If any British readers have any comments on my definitions, I'd love to hear them.

Glossary for American readers

p.12 Jon Snow a liberal, widely respected television news anchor

p. 17 "poxy" local paper sub-standard/ poor quality (poxy is not a polite term)

p. 19 Badedas bubbles on the aubretia bubble bath on a rockery plant

p. 19 VSO Voluntary Service Overseas - like the Peace Corps but work done overseas in developing countries

hot flushes hot flashes

p. 25 tartan trews trousers made of Scottish plaid fabric – (shows poor dress sense to wear them - in Sally’s eyes. )

p. 26 off-piste the term is a European ski-ing term – which means off the normal designated area

p. 29 John Lewis a department store found in big cities – good quality products and customer service and after care…possibly like Macy’s

spaghetti hoops are like "loops" or circles, canned spaghetti in sauce

p. 34 "Barbour" jacket a hard wearing waxed cotton waterproof jacket with lots of pockets - originally for country wear - such as for farming or shooting. Barbour is the original brand and is now the generic name for such waxed cotton coats.

p. 40 Mary Wesley a bestselling popular novelist who was first published at the age of 70

p. 71 mammoth "trug" A trug is a shallow basket for holding flowers when you're actually picking them in the garden.

p. 81 hot slog hard work

noughties refers to the first ten years of the century

p. 99 titivating making very small adjustments to improve appearance

p. 145 plumped for vouchers chose a gift certificate

p. 153 crack on continue on

p. 154 Toffos A brand of toffees/sweets

swot work hard at learning something - cram. Wendy was swotting up on her astrology for her astrology exam.

p. 155 stottie cake This is a regional type of bread - made in the north east of England. It's flat and round.

p. 156 Quilts far too much "tog" Tog is a rating of insulation

P. 165 mugging up Learning about

p. 170 jammy dodger type of cookie - round and sweet, with jam (jelly) in a hole in the middle

Corr A member of The Corrs - a band of glamorous girls who sing folk rock music

P. 175 whinge whine

p. 220 piffy on a rock bun very, very obscure north of England expression (which I adore, so I've used it in my next book Zuzu's Petals, as well.) It means "superfluous" or "out of place" - piffy is icing sugar and it's unnecessary on a rock bun.

P. 233 clobber stuff

p. 236 naff In this instance it means "in poor taste"

p. 245 Mariella Frostrup journalist and broadcaster who hosts a Radio 4 programme called Open Book

p. 251 Carol Vorderman a highly intelligent and glamorous presenter of a television programme with anagrams and maths puzzles

p. 271 Swarfega This is a well known (in England) brand of gas-based green gel which mechanics and other manual workers use to clean oil off their hands. American equivalent is Fast Orange.

p. 297 Charlotte Green a well-spoken Radio 4 newsreader with a sexy voice

p. 307 tannoy loudspeaker

p. 309 John Prescott a much lampooned politician from Hull who was Deputy Prime Minister at the time of writing.

p. 318 cossie abbreviation derived from bathing costume - i.e. swimsuit

p. 320 rammel clutter

p. 332 blagged a column Blagged means persuaded (often by bullshitting or just good salesmanship). In this case, persuaded the editor to let her write a column in the newspaper.

doddle Something that's very easy

p. 344 Tony Benn widely respected and venerable left wing Labour politician

Clare Short left wing Labour rebel, who resigned over her opposition to the Iraq war.

Goodbye Sally

Sally Howe, heroine of Plotting for Beginners, has posted her last blog today. She's going into hospital for a partial knee replacement, and then - she says - she has to concentrate on finding an idea for her next novel, because she has finally been offered a two book contract, and so far she only has Fast Work to offer the publisher.

It's sad to say goodbye to Sally, but I understand her problem. I, too, need to make room in my head for some new characters, and Sally keeps batting them away. She may be back in the future. I hope so. In the meantime, why not read her last post by clicking here.

For newcomers

If you're new to this website, you may be interested to read how Jane and I co-wrote Plotting for Beginners. If so, you'll find a piece about that in the December archives. If you'd like to see some photographs of places in Plotting for Beginners, then click on the link to Sally's World, on the right under the heading GALLERY. Sally Howe has been keeping a blog since December. You'll find it by clicking here, although she is on holiday this week.

Yes!

Yes, yes, my editor likes Zuzu's Petals. She likes it a lot.

So all being well, it will be published next year, and then you can tell me if you like it, too.

Done!

That's it. I have finished Zuzu's Petals and sent it to my editor at Snowbooks. Will she like it?

Watch this space.

(AArrgghh....)

Art gets muddled up with Life

"So what is it like, living with a writer?" an old friend asked my husband yesterday.

"Very difficult," he said. "I looked in the cupboard last week for something to eat and found nothing but spaghetti hoops."

"But you like spaghetti hoops," I said. "That's why I bought them."

"What?" he said.

"Oh no…sorry," I said. "It's Gus who likes spaghetti hoops."

Life imitates Art

Occasionally I find myself living in Sally's world - i.e. the world of Plotting for Beginners.

This happened yesterday, when I got a phone call at 10 a.m. from BBC Radio Sheffield, asking me if I would go on a phone-in at noon, and the thought that zipped through my head was 'Sally would have been so thrilled!' Then I remembered that she'd already been on a phone-in - and not just as a five minute guest like me, but as the host in the studio. Her phone-in was about creative writing. Mine was about the menopause: Rony Robinson was the host. He is Mr Relaxed, and Mr Nice and when he asks you questions, you feel you're chatting with a friend.

Sally has been ill recently. She's getting better, but is still taking things gently. But you know what's she's like - indomitable - being ill doesn't stop her blogging. Check out her blog on www.plottingforbeginners.com

Gardening leave

After months of thinking of nothing but my new novel, I'm having a break. Three writer friends are reading it, and while I wait for their feedback I'm gardening. Just like Sally Howe, I have a passion for sweet peas, and my windowsills are crammed with yoghurt cartons full of compost and sweet pea seeds (just coming up) and I've been trying to dig 4 tons of manure into the garden. (Yes, it may well be the wrong time of year for it, but this is the time I have.)

The other treat is that I can read fiction again. If I read novels when I'm writing it messes up my work. I worry about someone else's style infecting mine, but also, I can only inhabit one fictional world at a time successfully, and if I'm writing, then mine is the one I want to inhabit. I've finally started reading the latest Anne Tyler novel Digging to America, which a friend gave me for Christmas.

Sally Howe is also waiting for feedback ( from her agent) on her latest draft of Fast Work. Check out her blog to see how she's filling her time...

Tinkering

Oh, I have to stop tinkering with ZuZu's Petals! I have been editing the new book and rewriting bits and I now have three writer friends lined up to read draft 4 (haven't I been busy?) I am hoping they will think it's good just as it is, but if not, I'm hoping they'll have some suggestions as to what I can do with the chapter that I don't think is good enough - the one that's causing me to get my pyjamas in a twist as I lie awake and try to figure it out.

Sally Howe has just posted the latest draft of her book to the agent she's got interested, so let's hope she'll be making us laugh a bit more on her blog...

The jury's back

A couple of weeks ago I gave the first draft of my new book to three trusted friends to read and comment on and now the jury's back. They liked it. They think it works. Yeah! There were some criticisms, of course, which is what I asked for. Now I have to consider whether or not I agree with them. Sometimes when I ask people to criticise my writing I think OK, you're right, it's a fair cop. Sometimes I think No, I'm not changing that, that's exactly how I want it.

I always knew I needed to rewrite the beginning, but I'm trying to be disciplined, which means putting the book away on the shelf for a while and then I can go back to it with a fresh eye. In the meantime I am thinking about it, and reading about technique, and looking at how other writers handle beginnings.

Sally Howe is supposed to be rewriting her first novel - Fast Work - but is making slow progress, by the sound of it. If you ask me she'd get along much better if she concentrated on that instead of being distracted by her patchwork quilt and her constant blogging.

Time to write

I've just finished the first rough draft of my next book. Yeah! At the moment it's called Zuzu's Petals, but by the time it's published it may well have another title. I've handed it to a couple of trusted friends to read and comment on. In one way, this is very exciting. In another it's bad news. Now I have to catch up on all the dull tasks I have been pushing to one side for so long. I have no excuse now not to do the budget, the accounts, the cleaning, choose new carpet for the stairs and the bathroom, etc, etc.

Sally Howe - the heroine of Plotting for Beginners - seems to have much more time available than I do. If you want something to read, you could check out Sally's blog. She's prolific: from what I've seen, she writes something there most days.

Dave 'n Sue

When we launched Plotting for Beginners last May, Rony Robinson of BBC Radio Sheffield interviewed Jane and me about how we came to write the book together. In the pre-interview warm-up chat I asked Rony about the audience of his show. He told me that the target audience for local radio was a fifty-something couple called Dave and Sue.

Jane and I cracked up at this, because my husband is called Dave. We thought Rony was joking, but I have just discovered that the BBC told local radio presenters a couple of years ago that they should target this fictional couple - Dave and Sue. He is a self-employed plumber; she is a school secretary. Both have grown-up children from previous marriages. They shop at Asda, wear fleeces and T-shirts, and their cultural horizon stretches to an Abba tribute show. They are "deeply suspicious" of politicians, think the world is "a dangerous and depressing place," and are consequently always on the lookout for "something that will cheer them up and make them laugh."

The only thing Dave and I have in common with the pair is our names, and our suspicion of politicians (is the latter surprising?) Sometimes we wear T shirts. Sometimes we wear fleeces. But neither comes from Asda.

Gus, in Plotting for Beginners, has been known to wear them both at the same time. Check out his current obsessions in the Plotting for Beginners Blog...

The Derbyshire Peak District in Plotting for Beginners

If you would like to see photographs of the places that Sally Howe mentions in Plotting for Beginners, go to Sally's World.

A beginner's guide to plotting

All the time that Jane and I were writing Plotting for Beginners, we struggled to think of a title. The working title we used on all our early computer files was Daisy wants a Column. When we were ready to send the manuscript out to literary agents and publishers we racked our brains and came up with Red Clover, Rural Chic and Fairy Lights. Only right at the end did we decide on Plotting for Beginners - which had appeared inside an earlier draft of our text, but then it was the title of one of Bodmyn Corner's creative writing books.

I would love to hear from readers what they think of our final title.

For those who don't care about titles but want to hear more from Sally, they can read her current blog, which she's writing to try to attract the attentions of a publisher for her novel, Fast Work. (Eat your heart out Belle de Jour, as Sally would say.) Find her blog by clicking on the link to Plotting for Beginners Blog at the side of this page.

Bestselling Latin

Someone suggested that Jane and I should have Plotting for Beginners translated into Latin to boost the sales. (As if the sales needed boosting!) Still, you can never sell too many books, and the suggestion is worth considering, in the light of the latest Christmas hit: Amo, Amas, Amat... and All That: How to Become a Latin Lover.

So as a first step, I asked my friend to translate the title, Plotting for Beginners, and he gave me Conspiratio Inceptibus.

Then I gave him a line from the text on which to cut his teeth. The line was "Carol Vorderman had better watch her p's and q's."

And he came up with "Attendat literis Carola Fronto."

I like it. I don't know what the heroine of Conspiratio Inceptibus would make of it, though. She seems to have more mundane matters on her mind when she's writing her blog on plottingforbeginners.com

The heroine of Plotting for Beginners

If you would like to catch up with Sally Howe, the heroine of Plotting for Beginners, you can read her blog at plottingforbeginners.com.

Party Game

This morning I woke at 4.30 a.m. from a dream in which I was in a line to shake hands with Tony Blair. No way do I want to shake hands with this man.

But the reason I woke from my dream was because I was thinking so hard about what I was going to say to him. How to say what I wanted to say before he realised I was hostile and moved down the line.

A student last year floored him by saying "I refuse to shake the hand of a murderer."

The best I could come up with was - it would have to be oh-so-brief - "You ignored the wishes of the British public and you spent our taxes on wreaking havoc in Iraq and I hope you are ashamed," but he would have already gone by the time I got to "you spent our taxes."

So later I asked a friend what he would have said to T Blair if he only had one sentence. His answer was too rude to be posted here.

I asked another friend, one who sends outraged letters to Downing Street twice a week, every week. After much thought, because he has SO much to say to TB, the answer came: "Why haven't you answered any of my letters?"

So what would you say to TB if you only had one short sentence? Abuse is easy. Abuse won't do. This has to be something to which the man will listen and which will follow him down the years.

Co-writing Plotting for Beginners

Sue’s View

When I suggested to Jane that we should write a book together, we weren’t even friends. We attended the same writing group and never saw each other outside the meetings, but we emailed often, sending each other work to critique.

In our first emails we discussed creative writing and how to get published, but soon our correspondence became a daily one with humorous descriptions of domestic and family trivia. Many of Jane’s emails made me laugh out loud, and I thought they were wasted just sitting in my Inbox. I wanted to have them in a book I'd started to plan. That’s how the partnership began.

I did 80% of the actual writing in terms of arranging words on the page. Sally Howe is the first person narrator and I wrote in Sally’s voice: it was vital to keep her voice clear and distinctive. Sally receives letters from her husband and emails from her friend, and Jane wrote each set of missives in different voices.

But obviously, the work and creativity involved in writing a novel is so much more than what the reader sees. Some people assume that because I wrote Sally’s voice, the book is really mine with Jane helping out. NOT TRUE. It was a fifty fifty creative project. We plotted the book together and developed the characters together and agreed on themes, texture and style. I see us as a comedy writing duo, with two people throwing out jokes and material and ideas but only one able to sit at the keyboard at any one time.

Writing a novel with someone else is a bit like a marriage. It needs commitment from both sides – and if one flags, the other needs to support her and carry on. Also like being in a relationship, you can have double the fun. But the price is a willingness to compromise.

Galton and Simpson once argued for three days about one line in a Hancock episode. Jane and I both love the other’s writing, and we rarely argued about how to express something. But there was one expression I wanted to use - “the great Wen” (meaning London) – which Jane, as editor-in-chief, kept cutting. Next time I sent her a draft I would put it back in, and she would cut it again. This went on for months. She won in the end. She is a fine editor, ruthless and strict with impeccable taste. (But if she dies before me and we have a second edition, I shall re-instate the great Wen.)

We did sometimes argue about the actual material. I might want to include something and she would say it was “yawnsville” (her ultimate put-down.)

I loved developing our characters with Jane. We find the same things funny. When she suggested a trait for a character I often laughed in delight and recognition. We brainstormed by email. When we were in the middle of the book I couldn’t wait to see her latest suggestions and I would rush to read her email before getting dressed in the morning.

I love living in a fictional world. Living there with someone else who shares your sense of humour is even better.

Writing a novel is very hard work – even when you love to write - and it can be lonely. When I wrote Plotting for Beginners with Jane it didn’t seem like work, and I only found it lonely when the huge demands of her normal life enveloped her. But co-writing spoils you. Jane injected such a lot of fun and sparky creativity into our book that when I first embarked alone on my next novel, Zuzu's Petals, I felt as if I was rowing the Atlantic solo.

An email from Jane’s kitchen

hi sue

re twosome piece

don’t forget to mention that

you have placed loads of pieces in the nationals whereas I have poems in a box file (which I am usually too busy to send off)

you have one husband to look after and hours to write whereas I have three teenagers, a hairy dog, four cats, a horse and a rabbit (not yet fed today incidentally) plus a couple of businesses, so when writing have to make do with hit and run snatches

you are entirely driven and I am a complete lazy arse

I work in the chaos of the kitchen on the family computer (“bloody hell, mother – sue hepworth’s sent you seven emails today”) whereas you enjoy the luxury of a study area, albeit one which doubles as a corridor and is in danger of being re-designated as an en-suite

you nearly dumped me after you sent me the first page and I emailed you back to say it was rubbish and I learned to precede any criticism with at least five points of effusive praise (you didn't know that did you?)

we both think the other's writing is fab

I can never remember who the characters are (my excuse - they change their names so often) so when you say is it all right for keith to like jelly? - I invariably email to ask - who the hell is keith?

you obsess about plot points and midpoints and I like to visualise the plot as a structural framework we hang things from

I love to pare things down – record so far cutting 15,000 words in one morning

you are the definitive keeper of the main text - which means that you can slip things back in which I cut out

we are symbiotic

we couldn't write this sort of book if the process wasn't fun - I want to capture the enjoyment we have and roll it onto the page for the reader (omigod - what does that sound like?)

you are well more pushy than I am and incredibly tenacious in a way which always astonishes me and which I totally admire you for

you would like to be a best-selling author and have a national newspaper column (which I know you would hate after two weeks) whereas I aspire to work on a shopping page

best first thoughts

love jane

The world of Sally Howe, heroine of Plotting for Beginners

Monsal Dale

Where Jeremy ogles Sally

Chatsworth Farm Shop, where Sally buys her free range meat

Bloomers in Bakewell, where Sally buys treats

The car park by the Co-op where Sally reads her first publication

The Monsal Head Hotel, where Sally has her first dinner date

The path to Dunstanburgh Castle

Distant silhouette of Dunstanburgh Castle

Seahouses harbour

The entrance to Hassop Hall - where Iain took Sally to dinner

Where Richard feeds the ducks

Uppertown Tools, where Richard ogles the ladders

The river Wye in Bakewell

More pictures of me

With co-author Jane Linfoot:

Signing books at Waterstones in Sheffield:

Pictures of Jane and me

Sue Hepworth and Jane Linfoot

Jane and me at the launch of Plotting for Beginners

Me (6) & younger sister, Jen (4):

My family - I am the one with the glasses:

In 1962:

In 1994:

Mother of the bride in 2001: Mother of the groom, 2007

About me

I was lucky to be born into a large happy family – not the best start for a writer. So I was not a lonely, only child who was constantly scribbling little stories in exercise books with red shiny covers and lined paper, bought from the village newsagents.
I read Secret Seven books, dressed up as Davy Crocket, and went on dirt track races round our Lincolnshire farmyard on my bike with my brothers and sisters. As to career aspirations, I wanted to be a secretary so I could wear tight skirts and high heels.
I actually became a research psychologist, a social researcher, a full time mother and various combinations of these.
In 1996, I started to write creatively and became a regular contributor of first-person pieces to The Times. I also had features in the Guardian, Mslexia and The Observer.
I met my co-author of the comic novel Plotting for Beginners, at creative writing class. Jane and I began to email each other work to critique. But soon our correspondence became a daily one as we fell into the pattern of trying to make each other laugh with our descriptions of domestic and family trivia. The idea for Plotting for Beginners developed from this.
My second novel - Zuzu's Petals - is a romantic comedy with a serious heart. The love story is interwoven with the story of the heroine's grief over the death of her elderly father.
But I told you last year that I loved you (published in 2011) is the story of a mature marriage at a crossroads. The National Autistic Society named it as one of their favourite novels about autism.
Plotting for Grown-ups, the sequel to Plotting for Beginners, written with Jane Linfoot, was published in 2013.
I have just completed an adaptation of But I told you last year that I loved you for television.